


Spin Me Round

by MooseFeels



Series: Turn Me On [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg, Omega Castiel, Pregnant Dean, Scent Marking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseFeels/pseuds/MooseFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's pregnancy, and all the changes it brings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

    Dean hates being pregnant.

    He hates the way his stomach swells outward, he hates the way he feels disconnected from his feet and hands, he hates the way his back aches, he hates the way he has suddenly been made a stranger in his own body. He hates being hungry and he hates having to pee and he hates the way Castiel looks at him enviously.

    He sits down next to Dean, this Saturday in month seven, and he says, “Puppy, it’s not that I don’t want the pup and it’s not that I regret keeping him, it’s just that I wanted it to be me.”

    Dean nods at him. “Yeah,” he answers, “I feel you.”

    There’s the physical changes, and there’s also the mental ones. The hormones have made him feel crazy in a way he never has before. He feels like he cries at every last little thing. He doesn’t miss feeling vulnerable anymore, either. He feels naked and exposed all the time. His body has become a place of public scrutiny. People he’s never met before touch him and ask him things like, “Oh, when are you due?” and “You’re quite old for an omega- is this your third or fourth?” He doesn’t even know how to react in these situations. He doesn’t know how to growl and say, “I’m an alpha actually.” He doesn’t know how to do anything any more. He feels powerless. He feels neutered.

    He wonders if Cas feels like this all the time.

    Castiel just holds his hand though, quiet and supportive.

    Dean can tell he’s more than just disapointed that it’s not him pregnant- he’s devastated.

    In a month, he’ll start the round of hormones that will induce lactation, and Castiel’s body will change, too. But for now, they’re both trapped. They’re blessed, but they’re trapped.

    It’s pretty weird.

    “Your brother will be here soon,” Castiel says. “Do you want to help me finish cleaning up the house?”

    Dean nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, let’s go.”

    They get up, and Dean throws the sheets from the guest bed in the laundry while Castiel changes them. He checks on the food on the stove and he cleans up some dishes. He’s started cooking more since he had to go on leave from the garage. He simply can’t shimmy under a car like he could a couple of months ago. He misses tools and he misses the linear nature of fixing a car- the flow chart simplicity of finding a problem and solving it, and if that doesn’t work going back to the first step. He misses the grease and he misses the sense of completion. He misses muscular soreness that he put there. Cooking helps though. Whether it’s the sourdough starter on the counter or the flash-in-the-pan quickness of crepes, he enjoys the fact that he can do something and it can be done. He likes being capable.

    True to Castiel’s words, Sam and Jess and Mary, who’s nearly two now. She toddles into the house in front of everyone, carrying her pink bag and the stuffed rabbit that was once full of Castiel’s smell. She points at Dean and says, “Fat.”

    She is so blunt and so matter of fact, and Dean finds himself laughing before his brain can realize that maybe he wants to cry.

    “Naw, baby girl,” he says. “I just got me a bun in the oven.”

    She frowns darkly. Her brown hair is in loose curls around her serious little face. “Bun?” She asks.

    “Uncle Dean is going to have a baby,” Castiel explains as he comes out of the back of the house.

    “Cas!” Mary shrieks, and she runs as fast as her fat little legs will carry her to her uncle.

    Castiel scoops her up, and Sam and Jess manage to make it the rest of the way into the house. Sam drops his bag on the floor to give his brother a careful hug before grinning and saying, “Bacon, right?”

    Dean shakes his head. “Can’t stand the smell,” he answers.

    “When Sam was pregnant he couldn’t get enough protein,” Jess says, giving Dean a hug of her own. “I thought he was going to give birth to a tiny body builder.”

    “With the grip on her, I’m not sure he didn’t,” Castiel chokes. Mary has her arms tight around his neck, burying her face close to the safe smell of Castiel.

    Sam blushes a little, “Jeez, I’m sorry. I wish I’d...look, I’m sure you can exchange it or delay it or something-”

    “Sam bought you fifteen pounds of artisinal bacon,” Jess explains, picking the bags back up. “We’ll send you the number, and when you feel up to eating it again, you can get it shipped out.” She shuffles off to the guest room.

    “Dean!” Mary cries indignantly. She slaps the couch where Cas deposited her.

    Dean walks over and sits down next to her. “Don’t have to tell me twice,” he smiles. She cuddles up close to him. She looks at Dean’s stomach, a little concerned. “Tell me about things. You read any good books lately? Get in any fights? Take over any small South American countries yet?”

    Mary just giggles and hugs Dean a little closer. Dean smiles down at her. She lays her hand over Dean’s stomach, warm and chubby. “Bun,” she says authoritatively. “Baby,” she elaborates.

    “That’s right,” Dean says. “You’re gonna have a cousin.”

    Mary sits up and nods. “Cousin,” she says.

    She grabs her rabbit and toddles off toward her mother and father.

    Dean lays his hand over his stomach and smiles.

    He doesn’t like the pregnancy. He doesn’t like being so big and he doesn’t like feeling so useless and he definitely doesn’t like how strangers suddenly think his body is their business.

    He’s terribly excited about the baby, though.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel bought a six pack of beer about two months ago, and he hides it in the shed. He goes in there about once a week, for an hour or so. Usually, he just stares at the beer. Every once in a while, though, he picks one up and opens it and drinks it.

He’s in there when Jess finds him and says, “Hey, toss me one.”

Castiel nods and hands her a beer. Something cheap from a gas station. It’s watery and flat, but it’s beer. He takes one himself.

Jess stands in front of him, nursing the can, and she says, “Not carrying is awful.”

“I want the baby so much,” he says. “I want it so much it hurts, and I just couldn’t give it to him.” He takes a sip and shakes his head. “I want her so much, Jess, but I guess I’m just too broken.”

“We’d been trying for about eight months, when the doctor suggested it,” Jess said. “It just wasn’t working for me. I was still in school and interning at a firm and it just wasn’t taking. And Sam was out and he had a slow job at a library and when he volunteered...I hoped it wouldn’t work.”

Jess is a beautiful woman, Castiel suddenly notices. Her long blonde hair falls around her face in large, loose curls. Her eyes are heavily lidded and framed with long blonde lashes. She reminds him of no one so much as Helen of Troy.

“I hoped it wouldn’t work, and I hoped it would. And it did,” she smiled. “We got a lot of stares over the nine months. He was as big as a house.”

Castiel takes another sip of his beer. “I start the hormones soon,” he says. “I’m at least going to have milk for her.”

“Another baby girl?” Jess asks.

Castiel nods. “That’s what they tell us. Dean’s campaigning for Eowen but I like Sarah. She’ll probably wind up with both, poor thing.”

“It’s worth it,” she says. “This is uncomfortable and...and it makes you feel useless, but it’s worth it. She’s going to be healthy and beautiful and real and perfect and you’re going to see her and fall in love with her. And then it won’t matter who carried her.”

“I know,” he says. “Hard not to be jealous sometimes.”

“I know,” she answers.

They finish their beers in silence. It’s dark when they head back to the house.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jess and Sam bed down on the futon in the guest room, Baby Mary sandwiched between them. They head to bed at about eight, when Mary has fallen asleep with her head on her father’s shoulder, mouth open.

Dean waddles back to the bedroom not much later, and Cas follows him.

The house is so quiet. It is like the sound of Sam and Jess and Mary adds another layer of insulation all around them. It is close and hushed.

Dean is sitting up in bed, hands rested on his stomach, when Castiel comes in.

He looks so beautiful. He’s always been so beautiful. He has low pink flush along his cheekbones. His dark hair is mussed. Dark circles under his eyes. A little more muscular than he was when Dean met him- thicker.

He shuts the door and walks to the bed and lays down, face in the pillows.

He moans for a long time into the pillows, until Dean’s hand finds its way into his hair. He looks up at Dean.

“I miss you fucking me,” Castiel says quietly.

Dean smiles. “I miss fucking you,” he answers. “As soon as this kid pops out of me, I’ll bend you over the bed and I’ll give it to you like you’re a dirty slut.”

Castiel laughs lightly. “You’re terrible.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replies.

Castiel turns over and looks at Dean. He lays his hand on his thigh and moves from his inner thigh to the curve of his belly. He runs his hand up and down it, looking at it with his wide blue eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do this for you.”

“I’m sorry I took it from you,” Dean answers.

“She’s going to be beautiful,” Castiel murmurs. “She’s going to have your eyes and your freckles and your hair and your lips and your hands.”

Dean shakes his head. “Nah,” he replies. “She’ll have your hair. Dark and thick and messy. It’ll be the bane of our existence. I’ll have to braid it.”

Castiel smiles. “As long as she doesn’t have your bow legs, I think we’re good,” he answers.

Dean chuckles again.

They have to curve inward to each other. Dean’s belly means he can’t hold Castiel like he’d like to, but they rest their foreheads against each other. They hold hands tight and close.

They keep waiting for the beautiful mystery inside of Dean to show up.

 


	4. Chapter 4

In the end, they name her Samson. Their joke- they waited for her so long. Promised. Strong. Chosen.

She does have Castiel’s unruly hair. She comes into the world with a whole dark head of it over her pink skin. No freckles yet, but she does have Dean’s green eyes.

She also has chubby hands that close instinctually over a finger. She has tiny feet. She has tiny toes and tiny fingers- ten of each because she’s perfectly healthy. She has a strong voice that flows out of her like an unending aria.

She has a pink mouth full of pink gums. She has a tiny belly. She has newborn baby smell.

She feels like peace and security and hope in Castiel’s arms.

Jess was right- it doesn’t matter who carried her.

Castiel crowds onto the hospital bed next to Dean, and they both gaze at her in amazement.

That bond between them draws ever tighter. No longer Dean and Cas but Dean and Cas and pup.

Together. Complete.

Home.

 


End file.
